Do you know this feeling when you feel heavy, your chest feels tight and your thoughts are blank?

You just wish someone would just say, “I’m here. I hear you.” But you feel you can’t say anything — not by choice, but because the world around you somehow stopped listening. Maybe people talk over you. Maybe you’ve learned to keep your thoughts tucked away because sharing them feels risky.

When your voice has been ignored or dismissed, it can shrink your sense of self. It can make the world feel distant—even when people are physically close.

And that’s the thing: a lack of connection doesn’t always look like isolation. Sometimes it looks like being surrounded by people but feeling like you’re not really seen. Especially when we are approaching the holiday seasons, where there are socially expectations creeping up. 

Contact and connection

Lately, I have been thinking about our need of connection and contact with others and how we often are too afraid to take contact towards real connection. 

In my mind contact is a brief moment and can be in the form of a text, a glance or a smile. Connection is when the contact grows to something deeper, more meaningful, where you feel seen and understood. To be able to build real connection you have to be willing to be vulnerable. And there are seasons in our lives when we do not have the capacity for that.

Dr Brene Brown is known for her work around connection and she writes how this is built on feeling valued, not on how much you speak. And sometimes contact is all you can manage – but it is still hugely beneficial.

Small moments of contact

When you experience a small, brief moments of contact, it will support your nervous system and reduce the sense of isolation. Deb Dana, who who has adapted Stephen Porges’s Polyvagal Theory for clinical use, suggests that tiny moments of contact, or glimmers, such as eye contact, a warm hello, a smile, can help the body shift out of shutdown and towards more fluidness.

And sometimes, contact is all you have the energy for. That’s not a failure. It’s self-preservation. These small points of contact aren’t lesser—they’re foundations. They create safety. They make space for more.

Tiny Ways to Reconnect (Without Overwhelming Yourself)

When you feel the heaviness this season, help your system ease a bit by giving yourself small moments of contact:

• Send a simple “thinking of you” message. No explanation needed.

• Sit in a shared space—a café, a park, a library—just to feel quietly among others.

• Try journaling or using a voice note to reconnect with your own inner voice.

• Explore communities that feel affirming, such as those inspired by Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion.

These are small ways of reminding yourself that you exist—softly, safely, on your own terms.

Your Voice Is Still Here

Even if it feels buried, your voice hasn’t disappeared. It’s still yours. It’s still alive. It may be quiet right now, but quiet doesn’t mean gone.

With small moments of contact, gentle connection, and moments of being seen, your voice can find its way back into the light—softly, steadily, and entirely on your terms.

You deserve to be heard.
You deserve connection.
And you’re allowed to step toward it as slowly as you need.

Feeling like it is time to find your voice again? Talking to a therapist can help.

Save this blog for later to remind yourself of these key insights.

If you need further guidance on starting your counselling journey, I would be happy to help you where I can. You can reach out to me here or book a session here.

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Eefje

“In the gentle glow of this moment, remember that your voice matters”

🌟✨

#YouDeserveToBeHeard #SoftLight