Feeling Different During the Holidays (and Why It’s Okay)

Feeling different and out of place is something many of my clients mention. The holidays have a funny way of making us feel like we should be joyful, social, and perfectly put together. But the truth? Many of us feel out of place this time of year—different from our families, different from our friends, or just different from the version of ourselves we think we’re supposed to be.

And when we already feel like we don’t fit in, let alone in the holiday mould, the need to fit in tends to get heavier and it’s easy to slip back into habits we’re not proud of—overeating, drinking more to feel comfortable, overspending to prove our worth or to satisfy an urge, or hiding away altogether. All of it adding to the already mounting holiday stress. If you’ve been there, you’re not alone.

The pressure to fit in often comes from old family roles, social expectations (especially if there’s undiagnosed neurodivergence at play), and the highlight-reel nature of social media. Everyone looks like they’re having a magical season, which can make your experience feel “wrong” by comparison and if we have a negative image of ourselves already, this will be highlighted further this time of the year.

That’s why I wanted to write this blog. For my clients and for you, here’s the reminder most people need:
There is no wrong way to experience the holidays.
Feeling different doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Your holidays don’t have to look like anyone else’s.

Instead of trying to blend in, try giving yourself permission to set boundaries, say no, protect your peace, and create traditions that feel right for you. A cozy night in, a walk in the cold air, a call with someone who truly gets you—these count. These matter.

The holidays aren’t about fitting in. They’re about finding the spaces and people that feel like home—starting with yourself

Do you find yourself in this article and would you like to step out of the holiday comparison trap, but need some support? 

Contact me today to start your therapy journey together. You are not alone. 

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Eefje

“Amidst the blur, find your strength and let your true colours shine. You’re not alone!“

🌟🌳

#EmbraceYourDifferences #AloneButNotLonely

Photo by Sonny Mauricio