Yesterday, looking at my diary, I realised we are only about 6 weeks away from Christmas and the evidence is everywhere around us, from shops displays, to the foods offered in stores and the music on the radio, which can create emotional overwhelm. We are all made to believe that Christmas is to be a happy time to spend with family or friends. But for some of us it can all feel too much.

Why do I feel everything so deeply when everyone else seems fine?

For many who’ve learned to quiet their feelings to keep the peace and to stay silent, Christmas can bring an emotional tidal wave. Those “Why do I feel too much” thoughts and emotional sensitivity might actually be the voice you’ve been suppressing all year. What happens if, this season, you finally listen?

Silence is all we know.

Many people will know the feeling of being silent will keep us safe. It was a surviving skill needed at that time. Perhaps you learnt to keep the tears in, so no one around you would get uncomfortable, or perhaps you learned to read the room, hid your own needs and stayed quiet. 

This strategy will have become second nature, a normal way of coping. However, the body remembers, the sadness not expressed, thoughts and needs not voiced, it is all there, buried over time. 

And at times, when our ‘normal’ changes, like the holiday seasons – when music and lights and memories are all around us – those feelings can stir and try to voice themselves. 

Why Christmas time?

Christmas is a time when everything is amplified. It is everywhere and we cannot escape it. The lights are brighter, the gatherings louder and the expectations higher. The contrast between your inner world and everyone’s outer joy is suddenly unbearable and the emotional sensitivity is increased. 

You might feel old feelings of loneliness, loss or not fitting in rearing their head. You might feel your chest tighten, you might have increased headaches or feel more emotional.

Here’s the truth:

You are not broken or feeling more than others. You are definitely not ‘too emotional’ or ‘too sensitive’. You are just closer to your emotions that were not allowed to be.

Sensitivity is Strength!

Being in touch with your emotions and feeling so deeply is your nervous system telling you what has been hidden. When you are silenced, your sensitivity becomes even more heightened. You notice all the small things in you and around you. 

This skill – because that’s what it is – is empathy, insight and connection. However, it can feel like it is too much when you do not know how to be with it, there’s no emotional safety.

Instead of asking yourself, ‘Why am I so sensitive?’, ask yourself ‘What is my sensitivity telling me right now?’

Beneath the feelings.

All emotions – the good, the bad and the ugly ones – are all messengers. Anger might be telling you that boundaries have been crossed. Whereas sadness might tell you that you need some rest. 

When we spend many years trying to hide these messages away, someday they will get so loud that you have no other choice than to listen to them.

So this Christmas, what would it be like if you tried to listen, with kindness and without judgement?

Taking care of yourself.

If this blog resonated with you so far and you feel the heaviness of the season, allow yourself to move through it differently. By creating some gently and simple practices you could stay grounded more easily and keep a connection with yourself and your needs and create the emotional safety you require.

1. Pause before you please. When something is asked of you, tune inwards to feel what you feel. Take a small breath before answering. 
2. Create micro-moments of safety. This could be as simple going for a short walk, holding a warm drink, doing something that steadies you.  
3. Let yourself feel. When you are aware of feelings stirring inside, take a moment to really feel what you feel. Even if the emotions are all different. 
4. Set boundaries.  Listen to your feelings and what they are trying to say. Can you take small steps to set emotional boundaries? It is ok to say ‘I am just stepping out for a bit’. 
5. Reach out to someone safe. If you have a friend or a therapist where you can be you, don’t be afraid to ask. You do not have to do it all alone.

Coming home to yourself.

Perhaps it is not ‘coming home for Christmas’, but coming home to yourself this year by listening more instead of giving more, doing more or smiling more…

Begin by giving yourself permission to feel, even when it is inconvenient. The world needs people who feel deeply, it needs your tenderness, your awareness . Not only can you see heavier emotions clearly, you will also see the happier emotions more deeply too. Making it worth to be alive. 

Your turn

Take a moment today to be quiet and to ask yourself: ‘What feelings have I been holding back – What are they trying to tell me?’

What emotions feel strongest for you at this time of the year and how are you learning to make space for them? Give your voice a little more room to breathe. 

And if you would like gentle support in exploring these feelings more deeply, I offer trauma-informed therapy designed to reconnect with your voice and feel more safe in yourself. 

You do not have to do it alone.

“Reaching out in the light reminds us that we’re stronger together. Don’t hesitate to extend your hand when you need one!”🌟🤝 

#MentalHealthMatters #WeAreInThisTogether