Silence as protection: Learning to understand how the body can go quiet.
Silence as protection – week 2 in the blog series.
Last week, we began exploring how silence can live in the body. This is not a failure, but a response to what has happened to us, it is shaped by experience. If you missed it, you can read it here: When silence lives in the body.
This week, we will look at how and why the body learns to go quiet.
Silence as a protective response.
From early experiences to adult life, our bodies are constantly scanning for safety. When speaking up or expressing ourselves feels risky, whether this is through trauma, prolonged stress, or environments where our voices weren’t heard, the body learns strategies to protect us. One of these strategies can be going quiet.
You can literally shut down in the moment as protection or it can be a more subtle way of silence that we have learnt not to listen to. In a society where we always have to be ‘on’, where we are commended for pushing through all the time, even though our bodies are sending very clear signals, the body’s way of saying: It is not safe right now. It might show up as
A heavy chest or tight throat.
Stiff shoulders or a tense jaw.
Feeling frozen, disconnected, or ‘stuck’.
All of these is your nervous system responding to keep you safe, often long before the mind realises what is happening as we are so apt in pushing these signals down. Recognising these signals can be the first step to feeling more empowered. Your body has been looking out for you!
The missing link in talking therapy?
Often we can rationally understand why we follow certain patterns or behaviours. We can be very apt in explaining certain feelings or are very conscientious with our reflections. However, you might still be unable to speak up in certain situations.
Understanding the body as a communicator can be the missing link that makes therapy and self reflection truly transformative.
Check out the accompanying workbook for simple, yet powerful, somatic practices you can try at home. Sign up below to get access to the download.
Safety in a relationship supports the body.
Silence can also shift when the body feels seen and safe in relation to another human being. In relational therapy, the presence of a compassionate therapist creates a sense of belonging, both for mind and body. Feeling mirrored and acknowledged allows the body to relax it protective patterns. It enables the body to learn it is safe to express itself again. This is why connection and safety are central to change.
Your voice belongs to you, even when it’s quiet. This series holds space for that. Without urgency, without pressure, and with care for what your body already knows. When your body feels safe and acknowledged, silence can begin to feel like a signal, not a barrier, and your mind can rest alongside it.
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About Eefje
Eefje is a fully qualified counsellor with TA and a psychotherapist in training. She is also training to become a guide to support people who like to write in a trauma informed way. Read more about that here.
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